Pedestals are meant to be knocked over

So I have been thinking about alot of things since I last posted. I have been thinking how I seem to put people on a pedestal and how I believe that some people put me on one too. I don't like being on a pedestal at all, so i am very sorry to those that i put in the same situation. I think when putting someone one on a pedestal you have false expectations of someone and that would be enough to make anyone nuts, and not feel like themselves. Truth is....I am not perfect and i never will be......ever! The only perfect person was Jesus and he died on a cross and rose again and resides in heaven. Its great to have hopes for someone and to make them feel like they are able to be better than they are, just don't be upset when they fail, once, twice maybe a few million times before they stop. 

When you have such high expectations of people you are bound to be disappointed with some of their actions and I am taking about myself in this situation....Those of you out there who think I am some bible thumping angel are very deceived. I put on a front when I'm around you and i try to act right but little do you know that I cuss like a sailor, I am one of the meanest and sarcastic people you will ever see when I'm angry. I vent alot and talk about people very harshly and most of the time I don't apologize about it. I like watching movies that would probably make most of you think I'm the spawn of satan if you saw them. I really do own the title spawn of satan especially when it comes to church folks. I still find it very amusing to act like a complete rebellious ass in front of people who are judgemental, in fact i kind of delight in it. I struggle with some things that i am not proud of at all but i know that one day i will be set free but until then, i will probably not meet your standards for a Christian. 

I read my Bible when I have the time and though its been a year I am slowly but surely making my way through. I do pray alot and sometimes when i say I'm going to pray for someone.....i don't do it, usually because i forget but that's just how the cookie crumbles sometimes. I still like to go to the bar and sing karaoke at times and i don't always sing gospel songs, I will occasionally have a drink or two and its not wine, its usually whiskey. I still think that some people are hot both male and female. NO I am not a lesbian but I did think about it at one point in my life. I still like Michael Jackson and I don't care if you think he is a child molester, i think is music is epic and i think he was a cool guy. I went against everything that a "Good Christian" stands for and voted for Obama......yes i said it I voted for Obama and please don't go all right wing on me and say I was stupid and such. Honestly George Bush left us in a mess and anyone who took over the office whether it be Obama or palin, had their hands full and people would label a screw up anyway so get over it. 

As for what I really believe when it comes to Christianity.....I believe in the Trinity.....speaking in tongues, slain in the spirit, dancing, laughing, and singing in the spirit, I think its great if you cry or put your hands up while in prayer, i believe God gives visions to those who want them and I believe there are people who can see in the spirit, whether it be angels, demons or both. I don't put God in a Box and who am I to try and label that he can't do things if its not in the bible.  

so here it is, this is me, take me as i am or don't take me at all. I am not a terrible person, I can be the nicest person you'll ever meet but I do have my moments, but who doesn't? I hope that now that you have some kind of insight into the Lori that most people don't see, you will take me off that pedestal you've had me on and look at me like the person I was, am and who i am growing to be...in a real and honest way. Not through tunnel flawlessness, the sun doesn't shine out my butt, and it doesn't shine out of yours either.

An English Paper I wrote on Parochialism in the Church

Proposal on Religion/ Parochial Attitudes

I have noticed as of recently the blatant disregard of people’s feelings, likes, and ideas from Christians who think they know it all. These self righteous people who feel that they have been Christians for so long and now have the authority to attack other people who don't believe the same things they do. In this paper I will present the problem of Parochialism in the Christian Community and what Steps we can all take to take care of this growing problem.

            I would like to start with the definition of Parochialism and provincial so you can understand what I mean when I start stating why it is such a rampant problem in some Christian circles. 

Pa·ro·chi·al·ism-a parochial character, spirit, or tendency; excessive narrowness of interests or view; provincialism.

Provincial-having or showing the manners, viewpoints, etc., considered characteristic of unsophisticated inhabitants of a province; rustic; narrow or illiberal; parochial: a provincial point of view. Here is why I believe it is such a problem in the Christian circles today.

            First off, I am a former witch, coming from a Christian background. I practiced Witchcraft for 10 years all because a Church full of Parochial thinkers, thought I was the spawn of Satan only because I had thoughts outside of there narrow-mindedness. Because I chose to speak my mind I was labeled Devil Child and threatened by classmates who believed I needed to be killed before I was mature....in order to prevent future Christians from being led to hell through me. Now you can imagine what I did after I found this out, I was 13 years old at the time and I thought "If God makes people like this, I don't want anything to do with him" and I chose to practice Witchcraft until I was 23 and with that religion, I experienced a bond and a sense of belonging I have never known before. Since I was young I then pretty much hated all Christians, thusly I had a parochial attitude as well. 

            Secondly, in my travels as a witch, I found many others who had been hurt by parochial church leaders and that’s why they practice too. Those who choose to be Atheists are either mad at God or have been Hurt by Church people, made to feel unworthy for their dress, tattoos, piercing, car, music, and etc. Why on earth would anyone what to even know Jesus if he is being portrayed by such narrow-minded people? I agreed for years upon years with these people who were so hurt by Ignorant church people.

            Thirdly, I have noticed that most Parochial people are at churches where they think or know they have sway over the pastor or simply by majority. Its a popularity contest, if you like so and so then you will be on the inside and all you have to do is stand up when we find something we don't like in the church. These Parochial people have some sway because the Church will hurt financially if these people leave and take their tithes away. The sad thing is that most church leadership will enable these parochial views because they want the steady flow of income in the church. How could this problem ever be solved if people in leadership keep enabling this mindset?

            Fourthly, I am now a Christian and I believe in Jesus because I had some wonderful people who weren’t associated with an established denominational church (besides my pastor and his wife) Show me Who Jesus really was. It was so surprising that I had never experienced this love before. I know that if we portrayed this Love that I felt and still feel to this day, maybe we wouldn't have so many non Christians in this world.

            My suggestion as for a solution would be that we have people who are well versed in scripture let these parochial people know (in love) how these ideas they have are wrong and explain with scripture, why. If these people believe in God like they say they do then maybe the Truth will set them free.

            I also think that counseling could help with the Problem. Just like Alcoholics go to AA to stop drinking maybe we could come up with a group specifically for Parochialism. This would all be based in scripture (of course) and would not need any medication prescribed.  In this group they could talk about their thoughts and learn how to change their thinking pattern. For Example, Sally so and so is upset because her friend had a glass of wine when they went out to dinner last Saturday. Instead of being calm, Sally went off the handle and lost a friend because of her narrow-mindedness (believing that Drinking is wrong, you will go to hell, and you are a horrible person if you drink.) In this counseling session the counselor would say to Sally, why do you believe that it is wrong to have a drink at dinner? In Eph 5 verse 18 it says " And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;" It does not say do not drink, it says Do not be drunk. Also Sally in Jewish tradition for the Passover meal (which Jesus participated in) you drink 4 glasses of wine. So Sally I am not saying that if you feel convicted about drinking that you should drink, but we should be thoughtful of others feelings and convictions. It is not our job to tell people where they are wrong; it is our Job to love others with the Love of Christ. If they have enough counseling their mindset could be changed and their hearts be opened to the truth and they could be transformed by the renewing of their minds. Just like it says in Romans 12 verse 2 "Don't become like the people of this world. Instead, change the way you think. Then you will always be able to determine what God really wants-what is good, pleasing, and perfect."

            If we can somehow come up with a way to help these people it will be better for everyone on this planet. Here is why, we as Christians believe that Jesus is the only way right? None comes to the father but though me. If we believe this then by standing idly by we are contributing to most of this generation going to hell. That is not Gods will for us, it is not his will for us to be a bunch of sissies, afraid to stand up for what is right, and true just because someone may take there money out of church. If we can no longer enable this offending thought process and accepted everyone as Christ did, there would be a whole lot more Christians in this world. If we Practiced Acceptance and Love, over Judgment and Fear, there would be a revolution that would start and never stop Making this world a far better place than it is today with all this Parochialism running a muck.

This is just how things are right now!

    You know I have come to realize that I am a bitter person at times. I know that i lash out in anger and most of the time i really mean what i say, but not all the time. I had to post about how angry I was a some Christians last time and realize that yes I mean every word I said but it was brought on by me being hurt. When I hear that someone doesn't like Halloween, or Drinking, Twilight, Vampires, or Harry Potter and "How Evil they are" I feel personally attacked. I feel that because some Christians are so against it and make it very very very clear how they feel without any remorse about how they may make others feel. I Just fly off the handle. You know I really try to be a nice person and Love on the Lord. I love that I have a personal relationship with Jesus and that he has taken me out of where i was( a sad a hurting person) and has changed me for the better. I am hoping that I am now more tolerant of others and I try not to be mean unless provoked,(and i know i need to work on that). I have to get it through my head that just because I like Halloween, and having a glass of wine every once in a while and watch vampire movies or read books with magic in them DOES NOT make me a bad person. It makes me a person who likes what I like and when God wants me to stop if he wants me to stop I will. No questions asked. I have done it with many other things and just because i am not as far in my sanctification walk as others does not mean that God loves me less than everyone else.
  Now even more at this time in my life and the season we are in I am missing things from my old life. You know I miss the camaraderie I had being wiccan,   I don't miss being wiccan , I just miss having friends that were there for me no matter what. I have been walking with Jesus for 4 years now and I don't have many friends that will sit and listen to me when i have a problem. Yes i have friends that will help me with counseling to get rid of the reason i feel the problem, but its not the same. I have a few very tried and true friends that will listen when i have a problem and again most of the time I feel like i am bugging them. Even if they don't say that i am, i still feel that way. I am the kind of person that will come and be there for you no matter what time of day it is. I will come and talk to you a be there for you as a friend and maybe suggest that you take it to God in prayer but i will not dismiss your feelings. There is a reason you are feeling the way you are and that is not to be looked over. I cannot be a solitary Christian for much longer. I pay 50 bucks a month for unlimited calling, texting and Internet and it seems like I'm always the one doing the calling or texting first. What happened to friendship? I am at a loss for words, I know that i am busy but would it kill anyone to ask me to lunch for once or just text to say hi. or call to see whats up. I just feel really alone as of now and maybe it because i am too much of a mean person and people have just given up on me, I don't know.  It just doesn't seem right to me to be alone while i walk with Jesus.
  Another thing that has been on my mind is that I feel like the wonder is gone. The bliss of Ignorance has passed and I can't enjoy things i did as a child. I used to love Christmas, Easter, and Halloween for the spirit in the air. The fun of Trick or Treating is gone, The wonder of the season is lost to me. So i walk with the Lord now Halloween is evil, Christmas is evil and Easter is evil. So thusly the spirit of halloween is a demon, santa claus is a demon and the easter bunny is a demon. Freaking fun. Thanks for ruining my childhood innocence. I love it. Demons every where but where is Jesus when i feel this way..... He is right beside me comforting me but no body else is.

What do you think about this.....deluded, and judgmental Christians of the world?

So I have to get this off my chest before i have any chance of getting any homework done. I have a few questions for all my friends out there. You know that I am a Christian but I am not by any means a Person that comforms just to fit in, Especially in Church.
I have been thinking about alot of things and recently I have been thinking about how most of my Christian Friends HATE, I mean Freaking HATE Halloween. I personally Love the idea of getting dressed up in a costume and passing out candy or scaring the crap out of kids. It makes me happy and what other holiday do you get to go to peoples houses that you don't know and bug them for candy or start a conversation with your neighbor that you never see?
I asked my pastor about Halloween or All Hallows Eve and it is from Catholic decent about All Saints day and presuming All hallows eve is the one day a year where the "devil" roams the earth!!! I know that some cultures put food on dead relatives graves because they think that there dead relatives come back on Halloween and they want to show respect. Hey I appreciate these beliefs, if nothing else some homeless people get some free food.  But really Christians......get a brain.......from what I understand about the devil, he roams around when ever the hell he wants to and it is not only on Halloween! and i admit some people take Halloween to the extreme worshiping the devil and such, oh well. If they get struck by lightening from being an idiot and calling upon the dark lord to sell their soul, that is there own mistake. Hopefully they will see the light but not everyone hears the Good News and is set free. I'm not being mean, I'm just being realistic. If you truly believe that Jesus will set you free and you are protected then you don't have to worry about the devil, so get off other Christians backs who do like to celebrate it. If you are on so much of a Halloween bashing kick, then you should (if you do these things) Stop talking to your dead relatives every time you feel a presence in the room or talking to a picture of your dead relative, it states very clear in the bible do not speak with the dead, so guess what? you stepped out of Gods plan and sinned and now that you sinned the devil has a legal right to torment you. OH SNAP!!! Stop being stupid!
The only thing that I have found about dressing up is where it says not to cross dress, and since they didn't have pants back then, what is considered cross dressing? I looked it up and what distinguished men from woman was that woman worn long togas or what ever you want to call them and men wore shorter ones so it was easier for them to work, so are we cross dressing ladies when we wear a skirt that is cut above our knees? Hmmmmm..... that's something to think about isn't it? To go along with dressing up and feeling good about ourselves, Pride is a sin unless you are boasting in God. So when we pretty ourselves up with make up and beautiful clothes, we take pride in ourselves don't we? So is it a sin to feel pride in our appearances? shouldn't the people who said that if you aren't a size 2 with designer purses and shoes, with the latest in make up and OMG don't you wanna look hot for your man? Instead of be yourself , and trust in the Lord, because only he can satisfy your needs. Need to be Shot? Seriously if we can get away from the pride in ourselves, then we can get back to the main event........... Jesus. We as Christians really need a reality check and a V8 slap from the Lord to get our acts together.
Another thing is we as Christians Celebrate the Birth of Jesus as Christmas on December 25th, if you didn't do your homework about Christmas you would find out that there is a huge debate about when Jesus was really born and some say September, and back int he old days the Christians started integrating pagan traditions with a Christmas tree and yule log in order to get more converts.
The same thing with Easter, we as Christians celebrate it as the day that Christ arose from the dead. but little do you know that when you go to that Easter egg hunt on the Saturday before Easter Sunday and the Easter eggs you are filling for your kids on Easter morning are actually a pagan tradition to signify fertility and the goddess ester. Talk about practicing two religions,It was also used to get more converts to Christianity.
So here you are in the dark setting presents under your Christmas tree and coloring eggs, feeling very confident that you are not sinning and feeling confident about telling other Christians what they are doing wrong. Self Righteousness is not from the Lord, you are entertaining the devil and before you get all pissed at me for saying these things, I have never once said i know it all. You on the other hand that is pissed beyond all
recognition from these words I am writing, better check and make sure that the anger you are feeling is righteous anger from the Lord and not just your own Pride being hurt.

What should my business be called

Quixotic Photography
or
Quadratrix Photography

What to do When all i want to do is Choke the Girl in the Car behind me.

Although I am usually a pretty nice person and very tolerate of others, but not today for some reason. I have been a christian for almost 4 years, I try to just let go of things but sometimes my flesh gets the best of me. I wake up today all pumped to get my homework done(yes pumped) had my books on my bed ready to start reading when i see a green patch of mold that i have been fighting with all summer on my ceiling again. UGH!!!
So i spray it with bleach for the 5th time and take my happy butt to Tim Hortons, thinking i will be able to hop on their free wifi, grab a iced cap and try to get online after several attempts, i just give up. Thank the Lord for my Sweet friend Lavena who is letting me use her internet right now as i type. but on the way over to her house, i get beeped at by this bitchy blonde who is more impatient than a kid wanting to dig into there birthday cake. The freaking light just turned green. And i hear BEEEEEEEP!WTF? really are you in that much of a hurry to get on the highway? really? I hope you get pulled over for flying and texting while driving. you jerk!!! I think that beeping is so rude. I mean its appropriate at certain times. for example if your about to back into some one or something like that. but just to beep when you havent even giving the person infront of you time to hit the gas. That is just such a bitch move. we guess what? the next time i get beeped at like that, i will sit my happy ass in the intersection till the red light. Hows that for you impatient selfish ass?