This is just how things are right now!

    You know I have come to realize that I am a bitter person at times. I know that i lash out in anger and most of the time i really mean what i say, but not all the time. I had to post about how angry I was a some Christians last time and realize that yes I mean every word I said but it was brought on by me being hurt. When I hear that someone doesn't like Halloween, or Drinking, Twilight, Vampires, or Harry Potter and "How Evil they are" I feel personally attacked. I feel that because some Christians are so against it and make it very very very clear how they feel without any remorse about how they may make others feel. I Just fly off the handle. You know I really try to be a nice person and Love on the Lord. I love that I have a personal relationship with Jesus and that he has taken me out of where i was( a sad a hurting person) and has changed me for the better. I am hoping that I am now more tolerant of others and I try not to be mean unless provoked,(and i know i need to work on that). I have to get it through my head that just because I like Halloween, and having a glass of wine every once in a while and watch vampire movies or read books with magic in them DOES NOT make me a bad person. It makes me a person who likes what I like and when God wants me to stop if he wants me to stop I will. No questions asked. I have done it with many other things and just because i am not as far in my sanctification walk as others does not mean that God loves me less than everyone else.
  Now even more at this time in my life and the season we are in I am missing things from my old life. You know I miss the camaraderie I had being wiccan,   I don't miss being wiccan , I just miss having friends that were there for me no matter what. I have been walking with Jesus for 4 years now and I don't have many friends that will sit and listen to me when i have a problem. Yes i have friends that will help me with counseling to get rid of the reason i feel the problem, but its not the same. I have a few very tried and true friends that will listen when i have a problem and again most of the time I feel like i am bugging them. Even if they don't say that i am, i still feel that way. I am the kind of person that will come and be there for you no matter what time of day it is. I will come and talk to you a be there for you as a friend and maybe suggest that you take it to God in prayer but i will not dismiss your feelings. There is a reason you are feeling the way you are and that is not to be looked over. I cannot be a solitary Christian for much longer. I pay 50 bucks a month for unlimited calling, texting and Internet and it seems like I'm always the one doing the calling or texting first. What happened to friendship? I am at a loss for words, I know that i am busy but would it kill anyone to ask me to lunch for once or just text to say hi. or call to see whats up. I just feel really alone as of now and maybe it because i am too much of a mean person and people have just given up on me, I don't know.  It just doesn't seem right to me to be alone while i walk with Jesus.
  Another thing that has been on my mind is that I feel like the wonder is gone. The bliss of Ignorance has passed and I can't enjoy things i did as a child. I used to love Christmas, Easter, and Halloween for the spirit in the air. The fun of Trick or Treating is gone, The wonder of the season is lost to me. So i walk with the Lord now Halloween is evil, Christmas is evil and Easter is evil. So thusly the spirit of halloween is a demon, santa claus is a demon and the easter bunny is a demon. Freaking fun. Thanks for ruining my childhood innocence. I love it. Demons every where but where is Jesus when i feel this way..... He is right beside me comforting me but no body else is.